Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others
Brené Brown
Reasons you might need to set boundaries in your relationships
Good boundaries are present in all healthy relationships. So, if you find yourself in relationships that are having a negative impact on your mental and physical health, it’s time to think about why.
The following are some common issues that you may be experiencing if you lack critical boundaries in your relationships.
- Feeling overwhelmed – Feeling obligated to meet the demands of others, even if it means sacrificing your time, energy, and resources.
- Being taken advantage of – Feeling like others are taking advantage of or exploiting you. And doing favours for people who consistently fail to reciprocate.
- Feeling unsupported – You believe that you are not receiving the necessary support from others, and that your feelings are consistently dismissed or invalidated.
- Dealing with toxic people – You are insecure because you are involved with people who are manipulative, abusive, or otherwise harmful.
- Struggling with self-care – You are unable to prioritise your own needs, resulting in a lack of sleep, exercise, and other important aspects of your health that contribute to your well-being.
Guidance on how to move forward with setting boundaries.
Identify your personal boundaries
Start by understanding what you are and are not comfortable with. This can include the physical, emotional, or mental limits you set for yourself in your relationships with others. Knowing your boundaries is the first step in being able to communicate them effectively to others.
Communicate your boundaries
Once you’ve identified your boundaries, it’s important to communicate them to others. You can do this by being clear and direct about what you are and are not willing to tolerate. This can help others understand your needs and expectations and respect them.
Be assertive
Being assertive means standing up for yourself in a clear and respectful way. This can be especially important when setting boundaries with people who may not be used to respecting your needs or wishes. Being assertive can help you communicate your boundaries effectively while also building your self-confidence.
Learn to say “no”
Saying “no” can be difficult, particularly if you are a people pleaser or if you are used to putting others’ needs ahead of your own. However, learning to say “no” is a crucial part of setting healthy boundaries. It’s important to remember that saying “no” is not a sign of weakness, but rather a way to prioritise your own needs and well-being.
Respect other people’s boundaries
Just as it’s important to set your own boundaries, it’s also important to respect other people’s boundaries. This means being aware of and honouring the limits that others set for themselves, even if they are different from your own.
Practice self-care
To manage stress and maintain good mental health, you must learn to prioritise self-care activities such as exercise, relaxation, and spending time with loved ones. Although it may seem challenging at first, with practice, you will be better able to set and maintain healthy boundaries with others if you take care of yourself.